A great man once said that, “I, being poor, have only my dreams.”
However, this man did not have the good fortune to exist in our prosperous and charitable modern age, a time where even such a penurious vagabond as I might still enjoy a performance of Shakespeare in the park, those delicious little cocktail smokies they give out as samples at the supermarket, and enormous, fully-featured free-to-play video games.
Sucks to be you, William Butler Yeats.
Awwww…now he’s sad.
I had heard about the free-to-play model years ago but I never really gave it much consideration for a couple of reasons, namely the fact that I am a console gamer at heart (free-to-play games exist almost exclusively on the PC), and I was a spoiled brat that took everything I had for granted.
As we all know, things change.
Now I live in a gutter where it always rains, feeding off the refuse of society, without access to any form of video entertainment or basic life-saving antibiotics. Sometimes, when I’m especially riddled with scurvy, the desire to reconnect to the digital aether becomes so intense that I jam my tongue into the exposed wires protruding from the streetlamp on the corner that has become my only friend. I’ve named him Ignacio.
I no longer own a console. I haven’t played Awesome New Game 3. All my pants are hand-me-down bell-bottoms and none of the cool kids invite me to their birthday parties. In such sub-optimal conditions, the siren song of the word “free” is quite alluring indeed.
So I took the initiative, attacked a handicapped citizen in a violent frenzy (they were really old, so it was really easy) and assumed control of their home, cats, and most importantly their computer to give this whole free-to-play thing a shot.
What follows will be periodic information regarding games that follow this model, why I have chosen to exalt/banish them, and how much money you should reasonably spend on whatever baubles they offer. I will do my best to update this feature semi-regularly but when you’re a fugitive on the lam you’ve got to stay one step ahead of the Weasels Closing In, which can sometimes make it difficult for me to communicate with you, our three adorably misguided site-goers.
So click on over. I hope you have as much fun reading this nonsense as I have writing it.
And somebody, please…take care of Ignacio. He gets dim when he gets lonely.
I’ll never let go, buddy.